is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
