I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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