I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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