I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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