Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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