Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
