planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
