we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
