Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
