all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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