One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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