lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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