I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
