You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
