3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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