if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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