I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
