WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
