I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
