Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
