where does the pee come out of this thing
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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