I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
