pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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