i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
