she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
