Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
