I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
