guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
