"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
