I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
a search helicopter?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
