she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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