I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
