What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
