Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
