Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
