I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
