We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
