im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
