Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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