He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
