Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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