I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
