so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
