How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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