so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
