i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
