I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
