I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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