..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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