in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
