we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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