went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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