If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
