Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
