it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
